I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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