I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
