jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
