when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize