It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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