I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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