I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize