tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
