Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dick very happy bro
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize