what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize