I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We need to get me chipped asap
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
