I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I CAN MOONWALK!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
