it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I miss vodka workout Fridays
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
