Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You can't just leave with hair like that
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
