careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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