so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
