my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
