oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
