Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize