What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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