My room smells like vodka and shame
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize