quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
