Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
