no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my being single is dangerous.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
