Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
