She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
