Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
