Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
