you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize