What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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