I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
