Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
