i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize