if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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