I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
did i just pee glitter
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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