I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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