with your own penis?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
