he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
