so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
