why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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