I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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