Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
