i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
