we're blogging at a bar
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
