he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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