Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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