Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
