if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
