fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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