they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
