Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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