I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
