How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
