Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
