My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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