We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
