So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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