I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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