Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
