I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Randomize
