is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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