What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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