I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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