so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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