so that wasnt chicken after all
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
