if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
