PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
