1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
