Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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