So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize