She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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