he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
