I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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