Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
